Great Expectations?

The more that we expect from others, the more we are opening ourselves to being disappointed.

Expectations can be a big stumbling block for us, both personally and communally. There is an old story about a man who hunted rabbits. One day when he was out in the woods, a rabbit ran past him and collided with a tree stump, knocking itself unconscious. The man couldn't believe his good fortune as he put the rabbit in his game bag. Every day for the rest of his life, he came back and watched the stump, waiting for this to happen again.

When we participate in some activity, especially something we've done before, we often have big expectations about what will happen, how we will feel, and what the end result will be. When all does not go as expected, we are disappointed. Usually we then look around for someone or something to blame.

The first step in dealing with expectations is to be aware of how often we have them. Take a few minutes to think about a typical day. How often do you expect something to happen, and how do you feel when it doesn't?

We expect the mail to come at a certain time and when it's late, we get mad. We expect that a co-worker will meet a deadline but he doesn't, and we think he has made us look bad. We expect a friend to call with news that we deem important, but she doesn't and we feel she has let us down.

Now add to these common expectations the ton of them that come from the media. Society tell us how we should look, how much money we should earn for happy life, what things we should have, and how things should unfold in our lives if we are good people. As we internalize these expectations, we wreck havoc on our self-esteem.

Shakespeare quotes “Expectation is the root of all heartache.”

Memory and anticipation are two kinds of non beneficial thought waves for a spiritual aspirant, though they are beneficial for worldly-minded persons. Anticipation and grasping make you a beggar of beggars and destroy your will-power. Do not anticipate anything. Anticipation fattens the mind and causes restlessness. Do not expect anything. It causes mental disturbance. If you do not expect, you would not have disappointment. Forget everything that pertains to the world.

Unrealistic expectations inevitably cause feelings of disappointment, anger, and resentment. Try as a daily practice to not become attached to particular outcomes. Make a conscious effort to free yourself from prepackaged cultural expectations.

Even if anything that is conducive to luxury comes, reject it at once. You will grow strong. Remember Soul and Soul alone. Everything else here is a dream. The world is a long dream. Destroy avarice by contentment, integrity, disinterestedness and charity. Do not entertain hopes. You will not have any disappointment. Contentment is one of the four sentinels of the domain of Moksha (Liberation). With the help of these four sentinels, you can attain Soul-Knowledge, the ultimate goal of life.

Reference

1. Great Expectation by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat, http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/features.php?id=15678

2. Mind – Its Mysteries and Control by Sri Swami Sivananda